catandmouse10 / Shouldn't be a good in goodbye (Reply)

I had no idea we would get so much food and so many flowers. But then again I have never dealt with a major death in my family. I feel overwhelmed by all of it. Mainly, because I have a place to find everything. You never realize how small your fridge is until someone dies.

The visitation was yesterday and that went well. I only really teared up once. I was too busy greeting people and thanking them for coming to really think about why we were all there. Today though was ten times worse. I would live through the visitation over and over again if I never had to go to my grandpa's funeral.

The service was beautiful, don't get me wrong. But watching them close the casket for the final time and then carry it up the aisle when the service was over was really hard for me. That's when it really hits you and it feels final. Even though the burial is on Wednesday.

I am going to start writing again tonight. Of course the story will be happy because it is a Steve and Maria story. But I might start a darker story to deal with my more painful moments of grief. I think that one might be an Erik and Jemma story.